Förståelse är värt att kämpa för

av Johan Ydrén, kategori Konfliktskolan

Lyssnande hjälper oss komma närmare varandra. Vi ser den andre, visar respekt för det han eller hon har att erbjuda som individ. Genom att sträva efter att förstå varandra minskar vi klyftan mellan oss. Det hjälper oss att bygga tillit och goda relationer.

Utan lyssnande är det omöjligt att samverka. Vi kan inte göra något gemensamt utan att ha en gemensam grund att stå på. Lyssnande behövs för att vi ska få det. Utan en gemensam grund går det inte att samarbeta.

Att lyssna för att förstå är också ett sätt att hjälpa någon reda ut sitt inre. Det kan ha en stark terapeutisk effekt men är också till stor hjälp för problemlösning. Många människor tänker bäst när de talar och genom att lyssna och sträva efter att förstå hjälper vi dem reda ut sina tankar och lösa sina problem.

Ett av mina gyllene ögonblick är när en mamma berättade om hur hon fick bättre kontakt med sin dotter efter min kurs. Varje dag brukade hon fråga sin dotter ”hur var det i skolan?”, varje dag fick hon korta svar som, ”bra”, ”ok”. Det var en sorg för henne att inte få dela sin dotters liv.

Efter kursen prövade hon förtydliga sig och ställde frågan, ”skulle inte du kunna berätta hur din dag har varit, jag tycker det är så mysigt att höra dig berätta?”. Då satt sig dottern ner och berättat ingående om dagen. Mamman sken när hon berättade.

Mammans önskan var ju densamma men tydligen förmedlade den något annorlunda, vad tror du dottern hörde tidigare?


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